Updated: Mar 24, 2020
Posted on July 11, 2019 by Alyssa Blish in Blog Submissions
Your life won't improve if you constantly doubt yourself, so start believing (or like me, be optimistic) in the possibility of things improving!
On July 9th of 2014, I was hit by an SUV while riding my bike without a helmet. Before this, due to family matters and my parents divorcing after a 4 year long battle, alongside being bullied by my older brother in the years prior, I truly didn't want to be alive; suppose I got what I had wanted, right?
After the accident I faced 3 traumatic brain bleeds, and several broken bones (collar bone, right elbow, and pelvis: front and back). I was in a natural coma for 2 weeks and the doctors put me into a chemically induced coma for an additional 2 weeks until the excess fluid buildup was drained. After waking up, I left the hospital and went into a rehabilitation center, around August 24th that year. Once I arrived, I went to speech therapy to relearn many of the basic functions of any human (speaking, swallowing, etc). Gradually, with my mother giving me fish oil and other Omega 3s through my tube feed, I had began to function and heal faster. My mother never gave up on me, as she had been by my side nearly 24/7 and looking up on the internet for ways for me to heal naturally at a faster rate. She never gave up on me, because she loved me. She never allowed the doctors to speak negatively around me nor let their supposed "prognosis" for me fog her mind.
In her meditations, she always saw me walking and talking, and actually believing in the fact that what she saw was my future, she just didn't know how I'd get from the hospital room to that point in the future.
My father's view of me had become colored by what the doctors prognosis had been, and basically, he told my mother that they were not getting any younger and he did not believe at this point that I'd make it. He didn't want me to suffer in the state I was in and suggested that he and my mother we're not getting any younger.... Basically suggesting that they should not make me suffer and just pull the chord on me. My mother stated firmly to him, "Our daughter needs to be surrounded by positivity and people who believe in her ability to grow beyond her current state: come join with her believers." He never once brought it up again, and stayed by my side whenever my mother needed a break with her on the hour care for me.
As the weeks passed, I steadily improved. My earliest memory of this time was when I was being transported to the rehab facility, but it's very blurred, due to many of the fluids they had given me and making my pain numb. As the weeks passed, I steadily improved. Days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months of steady therapies to help me with my cognitive function.
After 96 days of this, I finally go back to the hospital one more time for the removal of my trach and g tube, on November 21st.... After having these removed, I went back to pediatric ICU to visit all the nurses that had helped me get to where I am. Many of them hugged and cried, because they NEVER thought that a girl that was deemed to be "permanent care" would EVER walk around with a walker. I remember hugging them, despite the fact that I cognitively didn't remember them, I knew that they were so happy to know that their efforts had been fruitful and I had my life back, so I hugged the ones that hugged me. I knew how important it was for people to know that their efforts to help another living person, and so I thanked them.
Having missed 3 to 4 months of school that year, I didn't get to go back to school, and continued my rehab by going to Outpatient PT, OT and Speech for 3 months. As the months went by, I did not cease to improve upon myself, as I gradually did not need my walker to help me move around.
Going back to school the following year in 10th grade, as all my friends had moved on to 11th, my old friends were delighted to have me back. Some even cried.
Looking back on it all, it was a learning experience for me. I appreciate my life and I love being alive considering my former wish was nearly granted to me. It was all a nightmare, to suddenly have it all taken from me... Everything I loved and cherished.
In my next 3 years of High School, I became a comfort for my younger classmen friends and helped them whenever they were in a rut. I helped be like a mother figure for them, one that they may have or may not have received, back at home. I helped them with my peer-counseling that I offered. I helped them whenever I could, because I KNEW HOW IT FELT to feel alone and to just be mentally struggling. Gradually, my introverted-self didn't mind being like a mother figure to my friends, because on a familiar-friendly level, I did love them. I appreciated their existence in my life, because they were helping me too.
Gradually, three years had passed and despite my former differences and difficulties with working and my brain processing had quickened, I got Honor roll at my high school a few times (80:or above average) and even obtained an award for Student of the Month in March of 2018 for painting.
Despite all of the hurdles life has thrown my way, I am growing beyond the effects and striving to continually better myself. No matter what you have gone through, one thing that really would've helped back when I first went back in 2015 is to know that I am never alone. There will always be people in your life who care about you. You can grow beyond whatever limitations that any official has said about you. Limitation is a mind set. If you believe in it, nothing will happen, you'll stay just as you are. However, if you believe that anything is possible and you can improve upon yourself, you CAN and WILL improve. You might not notice it, just like I didn't back then. However, to anyone that is by your side while you're fighting your battles with you - like my mother had, they will notice everything and see all the gains you are making.
Never give up. Back when I was in the hospital, it was tedious to constantly get up each and every day to painstakingly rinse and repeat the same old cycle. Never give up. Go as long as it takes until you get out and you improve.
Your life won't improve if you constantly doubt yourself, so start believing (or like me, be optimistic) in the possibility of things improving. You won't know how it will - just like my mother had believed, but eventually, you'll reach the peak of the problem and resolve your difficulties.